From the recording Salt & Static
Lyrics
One hand on the rail
One foot in the smoke
One lie for the day
One breath I don’t choke
One word on repeat
One eye on the floor
One self that I show
And another I store
Built for the burden
Born with the bind
Taught to take the hit and hide it behind
Half a grin
Half a plan
Half a glass in my hand
Calling that control while the crash expands
I’ve been the punchline in my own mouth
Tongue tied in a tourniquet
Bleeding doubt
Spine like scaffolding
Rust in the joints
Smiling on cue while I miss the point
Productive panic
Performative pain
Choke on a checklist
Drown in a name
Too broke to break
Too proud to plead
So I burn through breath just to make ends bleed
I pace through days in a muted parade
One-man march with my worth mislaid
I file my feelings under “fake”
Then fight my reflection like it's mine to break
One hand on the rail
One foot in the smoke
One lie for the day
One breath I don’t choke
One word on repeat
One eye on the floor
One self that I show
And another I store
One foot in the smoke
One breath I don’t choke
One eye on the floor
One eye on the door
I’m a fault line feigning structure
Tick, tick, snap
Mouth full of mantras I can’t unwrap
Blink and I’m bleeding beneath the bit
Break in the code but I’m blending with it
I barter sleep for simulated grace
Smile sewn sideways across my face
A spreadsheet saint
A calendar king
Till I crack at the corners and start to swing
Panic with polish
Dread with direction
Heart full of habits that fake connection
I ghost my goals just to feel in control
Then drown in dopamine I didn’t even want to hold
I’m fluent in failure
Tongue-tied in need
Clawing through the calm like it’s something that bleeds
I chase my own breath like it owes me a reason
And laugh too loud with a throat full of treason
One hand on the rail
One foot in the smoke
One lie for the day
One breath I don’t choke
One word on repeat
One eye on the floor
One self that I show
And another I store
One hand on the rail
One foot in the smoke
One lie for the day
One breath I don’t choke
One word on repeat
One eye on the floor
One self that I show
And another I store
I say I’m fine
Then I say it again
Say it so much it forgets what it meant
Say it with teeth
Say it with spit
Say it so fast I start to believe it
I nod
I nod
I nod till I shake
Pop the pills
Pop the pills
Pop the pills just to prove that I won’t break
Smile like static
Eyes off-track
Numb is a language I can’t give back
Smile like static
Eyes off-track
Numb is a language I can’t give back
Can’t find the word
Can’t make the sound
Jaw stays shut
Thoughts spin around
Each breath blocks
Each beat drags
No voice left
Just white and black
Words fall flat
Mouth won’t move
Tongue goes dry
Mind won’t prove
Head like glass
Hands like stone
I feed the void
But not my own
One hand on the rail
One foot in the smoke
One lie for the day
One breath I don’t choke
One word on repeat
One eye on the floor
One self that I show
And another I store
One hand on the rail
One foot in the smoke
One lie for the day
One breath I don’t choke
One word on repeat
One eye on the floor
One self that I show
And another I store
One foot in the smoke
One breath I don’t choke
One eye on the floor
One eye on the door
One foot in the smoke
(Pop the pills)
One breath I don’t choke
(Pop the pills)
One eye on the floor
(Pop the pills)
One eye on the door